Godly Thoughts of A Saudi Man

I was waiting for my order at a nearby bofia, my late dinner to be exact, when a middle aged Saudi man with his daughter entered and asked the guy preparing my sandwiches for soap.

He was speaking in arabic and I was trying to decipher the words that he was saying and what I understood was he was scolding the bofia servers for not having soap and not washing their hands while preparing the food.

He went outside and after a few minutes came back and ordered sandwiches as well for him and his daughter.

He sat in the lone table where I was sitting and then spoke to me in fluent English.

“We should wash our hands because of the germs and the uncurable diseases that are now plaguing the earth.”

I looked at him and listended intently and I was preparing myself for a possible conversation.

“It is the way of God for reminding us that we are not doing good here on earth.”

What? I thought this guy would give me a lecture about germs and microbes and soaps and then all of a sudden he was mentioning God.

“Are you a Christian?”, he asked me and I replied “Yes.”

“In your bible it was written that God will send mis soldiers and minions to cleanse the earth and remind us about our evil doings like diseases, sand storms, weather anomalies… and it is also written in the Quran (Islam’s Holy Book)…”

“We are now experiencing it and we must pray sincerely, we must have a clean heart…”

“We do not know until when we are going to live and definitely not forever, my father died young and we were left with the building and other properties that made us rich but that is not the point…”

“When we die we must prepare for something lasting like going to heaven and not suffer in hell…”

I was nodding my head and was awed by his spontaneity.

“The problem with people is they like doing bad things… see what’s happening to Bahrain, the Emirates… people are accustomed to doing bad things. They must have a pure heart. They must pray.”

I interrupted him by saying, “But the problem is most of the people are trying to be nice only during the Holy Month of Ramadan…”

And he cut me by saying… “and that should not be the case.”

“We have to choose between black and white, heaven and earth and good and evil and we must work hard in doing good like studying medicine so we can go to heaven.”

The conversation ended when the server handed me my orders and the Saudi man smiled at me and said… “God bless you and good night.”

“And may Allah bless you also sir” I replied.

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Life II

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. – Alexander Graham Bell

Madalas marinig ang mga katagang “if only”, “sana” at “kung bakit kasi…” sa mga taong may regrets sa buhay.

Mabigat sa loob, pero may mga katotohanan ang buhay na kailangan mong tanggapin. Minsan isang gabi sa pag-uusap namin ng bago ko na naman ka room mate, napag usapan namin ang regrets.

Di niya kasi nakikita lumaki ang anak niya tulad ng maraming OFW na kailangan magtrabaho para sa mga anak na kung di naman niya gagawin ito ay ano naman ang ipapakain niya sa anak niya.

Maraming, sana – kung bakit – ang mga salita ng panghihinayang ang namutawi sa kanyang labi pero in the end, napagtanto rin niya ang mga sinabi ko na huwag mong panghinayangan ang mga bagay na di na natin maibabalik.

Sa parte ko mahirap din dahil ang dami kong regrets pero ang nangyari na ay natapos na. Period.

Maraming taong hindi maka-move on, nanghihinayang sa mga missed opportunities o kaya sa pag-ibig na nawala, e ano pa nga ba ang magagawa kung wala na di ba?

Di na ako naniniwala na maibabalik pa ang nakaraan. Sa pagmamahalan man, kapag naghiwalay na kayo… e di tapos na yun.

Pero ano nga ba dapat mong gawin para hindi ka mapakanta ng “Nanghihinayang”?

Kung sa pag-ibig, kapag mahal mo e di mahalin mo ng walang pero-pero. Kapag sinabi na niya na di ka na niya mahal, hiwalayan mo na. Huwag mo ng yakapin ang unan niya at ilagay sa ulunan mo ang pictures niya. Move on.

Kung sa pagiging OFW naman, di ba kaya ka nga nag punta sa ibang bansa ay dahil sa pera, e di maging handa ka sa mga sakripisyo na gagawin mo. Malayo sa asawa’t anak mo at nag-iisa ka sa pasko. Kung magkakaroon ka lang ng regrets, umuwi ka na lang.

Sa di mo pagbitaw sa nakaraan dahil may regrets ka sa mga opportunities na pinalagpas mo, paano ka nga naman hahawak ng bagong oportunidad kung nakakapit ka pa sa alaala? Move on pa rin.

Itapon mo na ang mga lumang damit na di kasya sa iyo, maghanap ka na ng bagong magmamahal sa iyo at uulitin ko uli, move on.

Yun na nga lang yata ang pangontra sa regrets.

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Life

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right? – Charles Schulz

Ang buhay, parang biyahe ng jeep. Minsan, pag para mo walang laman kaya excited ka pang sasakay. Tapos may mga papara pang iba hanggang mapuno ito. Kung kelan ka komportable sa pagkakaupo, tsaka may sisingit dun sa hanay na kinauupuan mo na pilit sisiksik hanggang maipit ka na.

Life is about adjustments. THe ability to adjust to what life brings is at times a challenge to most of us. Yung mga ayaw umalis sa comfort zones, yung mga hindi open sa changes, yung mga reactive sa halip na pro active, lahat sila… lahat yun di maka-adjust.

People often complain about poverty pero minsan sila din gumagawa ng paraan upang mabaon sa utang, di makaalis sa kahirapan.

Some will worry about the future e yung present nga di pa sila maka survive.

Ganun ako noon. The reason why I chose to enrol sa isang public high school ay para makaalis sa CIC.

Plus alam ko na mahihirapan na si mommy sa tuition fee ko kaya ng sabihin sa akin ni Amiel na may entrance examination sa CNES para sa CCSHS, sumama ako para mag entrance exam.

Di madali ang naging high school life, maraming adjustments… maraming failures… maraming kaaway… maraming di maintindihan.

Buti na lang I had friends, si Lei… si Florencio… si Rolan at Felix…

It was hard to adjust because of the competition… tambakan ba naman ng scholars ang school dahil Science High nga e di hindi ka puwedeng magpa-iwan.

Mataas ang expectations pero sige lang.

Imagine, lumipat ako ng ibang biyahe ng jeep ng buhay dahil nasisikipan ako sa naging buhay ko sa CIC tapos ganun din pala mangyayari sa akin sa CCSHS.

Huli ko na ng malaman na kailangan matuto ka talagang mag-adjust.

Sasabit ka sa jeep kung kailangan, kakandong kung walang maupuan.

Tapos ang happiness, ikaw ang gagawa nun kahit nasa pinaka-worst ka ng scenario.

Kahit patawanin ka kung ayaw mo naman wala.

Kaya noong college ako hanggang sa magtrabaho ako, kahit maraming rejections, okay lang.

Oo, aminado ako bakit yung ibang tao nakakasakay sa jeep ng buhay pero pagdating sa tapat ko punuan na.

Patience. Yun lang pala ituturo noon.

Kasehodang nakabilad ka sa araw o basa ka na ng ulan, kung kailangan mong antayin ang jeep ng buhay, mag antay ka.

Dami kong rejections pagdating sa job applications:

Katatapos ko ng high school ng mag apply ako na crew sa NE, di ako tinanggap.

Nag apply ako sa Fil Cartoons, Philippine Carabao Center, sa mga kumpanya para mag med-rep… wala pa rin.

Nakapag trabaho ako bilang nurse, sa antipolo naman ako napunta tapos allowance lang binibigay sa akin.

Bakit ganun, sabi ko, yung mga batch mates ko may mga trabaho agad ako wala makuha.

Pero sige lang, antay pa rin sa jeep ng buhay.

Nag Dubai ako pero 1 year lang (nasan na kaya sila Irma, Ate Mel at Ate Guia ng Wonderland?) tapos nakapag work ako sa WOF na end-of-contract naman.

Kunsabagay, lahat ng rejections na yun, tinanggap ko dahil kailangan ko tumatag.

Nahihiya na akong maging palamunin ni ina, pero ano magagawa ko. Hanggang ngayon di ko maintindihan kung san ako dadalhin ng biyahe kong ito. Isa akong RN na may 2 lisensiya na kung saan-saang trabaho napapasok.

But, I am happy… minsan naliligaw ang jeep ng buhay ko, flat ang gulong o kumakatok ang makina pero masaya ako. Masayang masaya.

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Failure II

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. – Elaine Maxwell

A few days ago I was talking with our Syrian staff and what I was trying to do was pull him out of his comfort zone. Later on I discovered through his words and actions that his refusal to go out of his shell was due to his fear of failure.

Even my life is a failure, but I learned my lessons from my mom.

Nanay ko na yata ang pinakamatapang na babae.

Not literally, pero yung pagharap sa failures… iba siya.

Humiwalay kay Daddy si Mommy when I was 2, kapapanganak pa lang kay Ana noon and at an early age, meron na siyang failed marriage.

Tinapos niya ang college degree niya kahit may 2 anak na siya and ng makakuha siya ng work sa DPWH, di na siya umalis dun.

Nag-start na casual hanggang opisyal na siya ngayon… after more than 20 years!

Kung titingnan ko, hindi naging fair ang buhay para sa nanay ko. I knew she deserved more…

Pero her life is not a total failure naman, she had us… kaya lang for sure andami namin naibigay na heartaches sa kanya.

I will never feel the pain that a mother goes through (dahil hindi naman ako naging ina!) pero I can sense ang mga frustrations niya.

Yung mga panghihinayang niya na sana naging nurse kaming magkapatid at nasa ganito kaming estado.

Tapos ang mga fears pa niya about us… I mean these may be counted as failures since her dreams were not fulfilled pero she knew that it was destined to be.

My mom is really strong, imagine 2 kaming anak niya na wala sa piling niya at si Mokong lang ang andun.

She has the guts and the will and she created her own life. Yung ibang ina, hindi kakayanin siguro ang mga sakit at hirap na dinanas niya but she chose to win and she really had the key to her own destiny.

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Failure

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. – Anais Nin

I was thinking, naging failure nga ba ang buhay ko noong bata pa ako? I wasn’t an honor student, and I don’t even belong to the top 10 of my class. My mom was frustrated each time she will see a red ink sa report card ko.

Surviving CIC during my elementary days was tough… really tough.

Hindi kami mayaman kaya I never had those fancy lunch boxes na may lamang ham sandwich o kaya ay pipila ka sa canteen para bumili ka ng softdrinks.

I had a classmate na ang baon niya ay pandesal and mine, yung “Yes” na curls at Sunny Orange na magdamag kong pinalamig sa ref.

Milo at Ovaltine before was already a luxury, and makakain ka lang ng Frostee Ice Candy, uy, yaman ko na noon.

It was really hard coping sa CIC because I had rich classmates na ang tingin nila talaga sa sarili nila ay mataas.

There was a time na hindi ako pumasok maghapon dahil one of my bully and rude classmate destroyed my diorama.

Morning noon, pagpasok ko bitbit ko ang diorama ko tapos pipili ako for flag ceremony. Nakita niya ang project ko at okay lang kung pagtawanan eh, kaso, inagaw niya sa akin at sinipa na parang football.

Di ako lumalaban kaya iniyakan ko na lang.

Tapos di na ako pumasok maghapon.

Grade 6 ng naging finalist ako sa isang Science Fair para sa shampoo na hinaluan ko ng aloe vera. Alam ko na nagilid ang luha ko ng i-announce ni Mrs. Bernardo yun pero pinagtawanan lang ako ng mga classmates ko.

That was the only time I felt I belong to that section. Pero sa halip na makakuha ka ng suporta, pinagtawanan ka lang.

But I endured those times even though I never wanted to go back to that school again. I was thinking my mom worked hard sa DPWH so bakit ko sasayangin ang pera.

Kahit butas ang medyas, nilalakad ko ang bahay papuntang school para makatipid sa pera (na nalaman ng nanay ko at pinalo ako), na magbe-birthday ka sa school at nakalagay ang name mo sa pisara tapos pag hinanapan ka ng handa wala kang maibigay, na lahat ng libro ko pinaglumaan ni ate ayin at buburahin ko pa isa isa ang mga sinulat niya doon… napagtiisan at nalagpasan ko yun.

I failed so many times… failing marks, talunan sa school based competitions etc but I opted to move out of that state…

I knew that all those things were only temporary even if it lasted for 6 horrible years at CIC. But I thanked them all… yung classmate ko na sumira ng diorama ko dahil I learned how not to surrender on defeat… yung pagkatalo ko sa science fair dahil nag gain ako ng confidence… yung mga line of 7 ko kay Mrs. Arriola sa Mathematics dahil natuto akong mag persevere at harapin ang takot ko sa math (at sa teacher) and most of all, I learned how to cope up with life… and I chose not to die a failure sa CIC.

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