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Di Sana Ganun

Biling baligtad sa kama, balisa na naman ako.

Kahit takpan ko ng unan ang mukha ko hanggang di makahinga, wala… talagang di maalis sa isipan ko ang pag-alis mo.
Ang tanga-tanga ko, yan ang naiisip ko tuwing maaalala ko na minahal kita.
Pero mas tanga ako kapag di naman ako nagmahal sa isang katulad mo.
Naging katuwang kita ng higit sa isang taon.  
Nagpapasalamat nga ako dahil kahit hindi ka ganun ka sweet, kahit wala kang lambing at kahit manhid kang buwisit ka; ibinalik mo sa akin ang pagmamahal na akala ko ay di mo mararamdaman.
“Asan ka?” tanong mo sa akin kagabi matapos kong sagutin ang tawag mo.
Di ko namalayan naka-dalawang miss calls ka na.
“Andito sa trabaho… bakit ba?” pagtataka kong tanong sa biglaan mong pagtawag.
“Ililipat na ako ng lugar, na promote ako.”
“Sige…”, tanging nasabi ko.
“Magkita na lang tayo mamaya sa bahay…” habol ko.
“Teka, kelan ka lilipat?” sundot ko pa.
“Bukas!”, pasigaw mong tugon.
Patay ang pasko ko.
Mabigat sa loob kong tinapos ang araw at pag uwi ko, kama mo at ang mga kalat mo ang una kong nakita.
Alam ko sa sarili ko na mami-miss ko ang mga yun.
Ang laptop mo na walang patayan, tugtog mo na hindi ko ma-appreciate minsan; ang mga buhok mo na nagkalat sa sahig at ikaw kapag katabi kita sa pagtulog habang nakapasak ang headset sa mga tenga mo.
Mahirap pero bakit ko naman pipigilan promotion mo di ba?
Masakit pero sapat na sa akin na minahal mo ako di ba?
Malungkot pero kailangan din naman nating maghiwalay pero di naman natin kailangang maglimutan di ba?
Wala na akong katabi sa pagtulog, kaaway sa pagkain at kasama sa paglalaba.
Kumain ako ng hapunan at inintay ka na lang sa pagdating mo.
“Hello, asan ka na?” tanong ko ng tinawagan kita ng gabing yun.  Pasado alas-dose na ng hatinggabi.
“Pauwi na.”
Hinanda ko na ang kakainin mo at hinanda ko na rin ang sarili ko.
Ayaw ko umiyak pero ayaw ko rin masaktan pero gusto kong magmahal.
Pagdating mo ay pinag-usapan natin ang lahat.
Nangako tayo na hindi natin kalilimutan ang isa’t isa.
Nangako ka na tutuunan mo pa rin ako ng pansin at dadalawin kapag may oras ka.
Natulog tayo na ramdam ang pagmamahal sa isa’t isa.
Pero ikaw lang yata ang natulog.
Ako, ayun, biling baligtad pa rin sa kama.
Iniisip na isang gabing maalimpungatan ako ay wala ka na sa aking tabi.
Masakit.
Pero para sa iyo din naman yun.
Mahirap.
Di sana ganun.

When we Filipinos talk about refugees, the first things that comes to our minds were the Vietnamese who once sought asylum in the Refugees Processing Centers in Morong, Bataan or in Palawan and were uprooted from their home country due to the civil war that lasted for years.
We never imagined that there are Filipino refugees in the country who were either displaced due to the ongoing drive of the military and the government against the separatists in Mindanao or farmers who were displaced due to land disputes.
These internal refugees keeps growing in numbers as the military operations in MILF or MNLF territories increased.
According to the statistics of the International Displacement Monitoring Center, an estimate of 515,000 Filipinos were displaced in the 23 places in Central and Southern Philippines due to internal conflicts between years 2007-2008 and around 59,000 Filipino Muslims already sought refuge in Sabah in Malaysia (according to a 2003 data by the USCRI).
“Bagong Buwan”, a movie directed by Ms. Marilou Diaz-Abaya already depicted the sorry state of our displaced Muslim brothers.  She effectively revealed what went on the daily lives of our brothers in Mindanao and the characters portrayed by Cesar Montano chronicled the hardships of our people and the senseless conflict that still exist in that region.
War, land disputes or whatever the reason for internal displacement only proves the lack of focus by the government to address these concerns which most often is linked to poverty and lack of opportunities.
Migration, flight, refugees – they all fall in the same category as people either seek an escape to a harsh condition.
There will never be a clear solution in the conflict in Mindanao and land disputes will never be settled amicably.
The government must resolve the return or resettlement and reintegration of these displaced people or refugees but this can never be guaranteed considering the current priorities of the national government and even our legislators are mum about this problem  since this concern is not part of their political agenda.
We may never see the immediate solution for rebuilding the lives of the Filipino refugees.
Malaysia continues their crackdown in Sabah and the peace process in Mindanao is in limbo. Even us migrant workers were being displaced by conflict in the Middle East, a double whammy for those who left the country due to poverty only to be caught in the crossfire in Lebanon or Iraq.
Will there be a solution?  I am still believing and praying that there will be an answer to this concern.  For the meantime, let’s work together in pressing for political reform and at the same time do our share in supporting organizations that work hard for this cause.
Be inspired by Mr. Francis J. Kong…

No such thing as an unimportant day
BUSINESS MATTERS (Beyond the bottom line) By Francis J. Kong
Saturday, November 8, 2008

After many years of service, retirement day has come. There was a formal ceremony. A large crowd of employees gathered around to bear witness. And the following conversation took place between the president of the company and the retiring employee:

The president said: “As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold watch to serve as a reminder of your many years with the company. It needs a lot of winding up, is always a little late, and every day at quarter to five, it stops working.”

What a way to go.

I started Monday of a particular week with giving a talk to a full-packed auditorium of students in a very well known university. And then this was followed by four continuous whole day leadership training seminars. Then excitedly faced the crowd of 6,000 teachers, gave a short talk designed to pay them tribute and inspire them to stick to their mission, meaning and purpose and then rush out of the convention center immediately after the talk, got on a car, went out of town, did a training on the next morning, got back in the same car and rushed home on the same day. This is the story of my life.

People close to me tell me, “Francis, you don’t have to work so hard!”

You see they don’t understand. How could I tell them I am not working?

While I may be physically tired I am most certainly inwardly fulfilled.

Inspired myself and energized by the smiles on the faces of the students, the senior executives of powerful business organizations and of course, my favorite audience the teachers; who in Heaven’s name could anyone ever thought about me working?

This is why I am absolutely convinced that there is no such thing as an unimportant day.

I would like to share with you this poem from an unknown source. (If you happen to discover who the author is, please do let me know so we can give proper credit.)

Don’t ever forget

Your presence is a gift to the world,

You’re unique and one of a kind.

Your life can be what you want it to be -

Take it one day at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles,

And you’ll make it through what comes along.

Within you are so many answers,

Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don’t put limits on yourself, Your dreams are waiting to be realized.

Don’t leave your important decisions to chance –

Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying –

The longer a problem is carried, the heavier it gets. Don’t take things too seriously –

Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way -

Remember that a lot goes forever.

Remember that friendship is a wise investment,

Life’s treasures are people… together.

Have health and hope and happiness,

Take the time to wish on a star. And don’t ever forget for even a day…

How very special YOU are!

God has created you for a purpose.

You did not come from apes. You are wonderfully and beautifully made.

Make sure you make a difference where you are and you do it today.

Dear Obama

Dear Obama,

The world wanted you to win as if you have the answers to the most pressing problems. Honestly, I don’t care on who will be the next US President but since the Americans had given you their vote of confidence, then I am sure that after having Bush around, you are a better alternative.
I don’t know your political platform and I don’t understand fully the repercussions if you’ll stop giving tax breaks to American companies, it’s your decision… but what matters to me is I hope that you will not commit the same mistakes that your predecessors did.
What I know right now is that the world is anticipating a new world order along with the rumors that a new quatrains of the prophecies of Nostradamus were revealed because of your landslide victory, nevertheless, I am optimistic that you are not an Anti-Christ.
I am confident that you will stop bullying other countries for your own nation’s gain. How many times have your soldiers engaged in war and yet could not justify the bloodshed nor could not define the purpose of your invasion.
Stop protecting criminals, dictators and start nurturing a culture of love.
Your soldiers are being killed because of the animosity against the US governments intervention in conflicts such as in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Are they the enemies or are our Islam brothers just protecting themselves from abuse and from exploitation that the American government is noted for?
Yes, you’ve been importing sugar but flooded the market with your M&M’s.
Yes, you’ve defended Kuwait against Iraq but was the US Government sincere in doing such or it only protects its interest in the vast oil fields?
How many persons must suffer abuse? How many civilians will be killed? How many women will be raped by your soldiers?
Obama, I sincerely hope that you will stop playing the role of a Big Brother to all of us. A real Big Brother never used and abused anybody, and the world is already tired of the endless conflicts that your country created.
Spare Condoleezza Rice from shame. She suffered enough protecting the Bush Government.
So I hope Obama, the new world order would be that of equality and peace.
Learn from the Miss Universe candidates, all they wanted is only world peace.

Two years ago, while I was working in Jeddah I met a Saudi businessman probably in his late 40′s. I was assisting his son while on queue at one of our rides for kids and when I stood by the exit gate of the ride, he approached and thanked me and then we had a brief chat.

“How much do you earn here, my friend?” He politely asked.

“Around SR 3,5000 sir” I answered.

“And you are not paying any taxes right? That means all your money is sent home to the Philippines.”
“Yes sir.”
“But still its a measly salary when you compare it to the amount that Americans or British Nationals receive.”
“Of course sir,” I replied “An American engineer will be paid higher than their Filipino or even Saudi counterparts.”
“Yes,” he said.
Then he introduced himself.
“I am a businessman who owns a hotel in one of the tourist areas here in the Western Region. Have you gone to other parts of Saudi Arabia?”
“No sir,” I replied. “The farthest that I’ve been was at the Obhur area.”
Then he chuckled.
“You are fortunate my friend, earning SR 3,500 tax-free and a supervisor, while there are Saudi’s living in poverty.”
“There are poor Saudis?”
“Yes, in the Southern part of the country, imagine that ours is a rich country and yet there are poor Saudis.”
I was thinking, poverty in Saudi Arabia?
The reason why I worked in Saudi Arabia was due to the “supposed poverty” in the Philippines.
Being a major labor importer, my idea of Saudi Arabia was a rich country where nobody wants to work and everybody wants to be pampered. Everybody is racing through the Corniche with their Hummer’s and the presence of Salvatore Ferragamo and Chanel in the malls would mean that they are buying these stuffs.
After that conversation, I asked Zamzam, a Yemeni married to a Saudi man, my staff in the theme park and she confirmed that poverty is indeed present in Saudi Arabia.
She lamented that her SR 2,500 salary was not enough to feed her 2 young girls that’s why she forced her son to work also in the park as an operator earning an additional SR 1,500.
Her husband’s take home pay was around SR 4,000 but even if their salaries were pooled together; it will cover only their monthly expenses.
A Saudi security guard in the park earns around SR 1,500 while our Filipino ride operators were paid SR 1,200. There were GOSI deductions and they were not given free transportation so the cost of coming to work were shouldered by them; while us expats have a bus service daily.
But Zamzam is still lucky because she has a job and her family has a monthly income.
Yesterday, I asked Ghanem (a Saudi staff in his 30′s who is working as a sales associate) his opinion why Saudi women shoplift and he has a simple answer; “Their fathers, guardians or husbands don’t give them money.”
Maybe its true, if their husbands doesn’t have a stable job or works only as a security guard, then how can they shop like other priviledged Saudi women does everyday.
Ghanem was a former border guard and Nader, another Saudi staff, would call the former as “bakheel”, or thrifty.
Ghanem lives in Thoqba, walks daily for work, eats only a SR 1.00 sandwich and tea in the morning and SR 1.00 biscuit and tea in the evening. I don’t know what does he have for lunch.
He said he has a wife and his salary would naturally be spent for his family.
Unlike the other Saudi’s, he only has the basic mobile phone, no car and no fancy gadgets at hand.
One time he asked me how much is my limit at my 2 credit cards, I told him it was around a five digit figure and he said how come the bank would not give him that credit limit?
Poverty exists and I don’t have to go to the Southern part of the country.
I just have to stand by the door of our shop and observe.
There is poverty in education. Mohammad Kanen told me before that education is free but he never studied. Most Saudi youth’s he said, during his time, doesn’t want to study. Nader wanted to learn English that’s why we are teaching him. Ladies sometimes don’t know how to read the prices on the tags.
There is poverty among women. Zamzam, Noura, Ghalia and the other Saudi lady employees at my previous company felt proud that they were earning. There was even a time when a father of one of our lady attendants came to the office and asked if her daughter be given a chair while working. He explained to me that Saudi ladies were not accustomed to working like other women and he was begging if we could allow this until his daughter became adjusted with the working environment. He was old, and he told me that he wanted her daughters to earn, to help in the expenses and to learn how to cope with the real world. I gave in to his request. Like what Ghanem explained, ladies shoplift because they don’t have money. They must earn and be proud of themselves also.
There is poverty among the youth. One can easily differentiate the poor from the rich kids. The rich kids are wearing designer clothes while the poor kids are wearing tattered garments. You can see street hawkers at night in downtown Al Khobar or at the mosques. Perhaps they’ve never gone to school or they came from poor families. Unfortunately, the society has been raising them up to become poor; to have a family and still live in poverty. It is a reflection of the Philippine society as well. Nobody will hire the poor Filipinos in urban Manila because for one, they lack the education; they lack the “required” breeding; and they lack the “required” abilities. There were standards set in the Philippine employment culture that clearly alienates the opportunity for the poor Filipinos. I guess it’s the same here in Saudi Arabia.
Poverty is the root cause of all evils. A hungry man will do anything just to fill an aching belly; and a father will do anything to give his beloved son the medicines that would lengthen his life.
In the Philippines, the answer for poverty and hunger were stealing, prostitution, drug trade and kidnap for ransom. But in here, they have the resources, they have the means, they have the money so they have their answer to these problems.
Thanks to Trad Alasmari who posted the video. Click the following links and be aware:
http://observers.france24.com/en/content/20081028-poverty-exists-saudi-arabia (with subtitle)
http://www.nawafnet.net/file-358.htm

Better Than Nothing

We often content ourselves with what we have in our hands.  Other’s might say that we ought to grab more but how much can our bare hands hold?
Some may say that find something else or look for better opportunities but there are people who grabs the first opportunity that comes along hoping that it was God’s answer to their prayers.
Jabba’s visa will expire on the 14th of November and after a month long job hunting in Dubai, he settled for a job that will compensate his daily existence and hopefully will allow him to save more.
For some, the amount he will be receiving is not enough to cover the visit visa fee, airfare etc but I don’t know if they knew Jabba.
Practically, he “aged” with me since the Greenwich days.
He’s hardworking and God fearing.
He endured so much pain in the past.
He weathered all storms by himself.
He suffered enough when his mom died.
He was agitated when his dad had a stroke.
He almost gave up schooling but persisted.
He graduated with honors.
And I am, glad that I am a witness to that vicious life cycle.
Now, knowing Jabba… he is used to failure, denial and pain.
But if you are in another country racing against the expiration of your visit visa and you know that hundreds of OFW’s are still stranded in Kish Island wanting to go back to Dubai, I believe you will ask for the Lord’s Divine Intervention.
Then came the offer, not much for his supervisory position but it’s better than nothing.
How hard it is to walk alone along Bur Dubai or Deira looking for a job?  How would you feel if you’ll be knocking in one’s door and ask for any vacancy, carrying along with you bundles of CV’s that you’ll never know if it will be scrutinized at all?
Frustrated?  Yes.
Defeated?  No.
Jabba may felt that people there doesn’t understand his feelings.
Sad to say, Jabba, the OFW world evolves around money.  Less feelings, less love, less affection.
Understand that wives were forgotten for the sake of sex.
Husbands were left behind just to have a temporary companion.
Innocent virgins and young boys involve themselves in prostitution just to buy that piece of gadget.
Filipino organized themselves into groups and raise funds but were hesitant to spend a cent to assist abused OFW’s.
This is the real OFW world Jabba, and like you they will also say… it’s better than nothing.
Falalala-lalamig!
Yes, the cold winter breeze is now blowing all across Al Khobar. Erick told me a while ago that it already rained in Jeddah and as well as in Riyadh! Next stop, the Eastern Province… I hope!
At least for about four months we will be spared from the scorching heat; but will suffer from cracked lips (and bleeding!), hypothermia, depression (Pasko na!), flu, runny or stuffy nose, rheumatoid arthritis and a lot other cold related diseases.
I love the winter season in Jeddah, its more of a tropical winter climate and there’s no need for water heaters, shawls and scarves, or arm visors unlike here in Khobar were I experienced wearing mittens!
Ice caps were never worn in the Western Region but here its a best seller!
So, in a few days… we will be waiting for the alternating sand storms and occasional downpour that will signal the onset of the cold season.
Homesick na naman kami!

"Sadik"

Sadik, arabic term for friend.  Almost everyone is greeting each other as “sadik” or “my friend.”
But a lot of those who calls you friend are often the mastermind of intrigues (yes Filipino men are also rumor mongerers), lies and betrayal.
Never trust anyone but yourself.
It’s hard to be friendly here if in the first place you are not having that personality type.
So far, I can say that I have a lot of acquaintances but only a few developed into real friendships, those person that I really call as “Sadik” here were really a handful.
True friends will be there for you and will never leave you… they will support you and cheer you up… and they will be patiently waiting outside the doctor’s cubicle when you are having your monthly check-up.
I have a few of those true friends, but I have a lot of acquaintances that I’d rather not share a moment with.
And in my almost 4 years stay here in Saudi Arabia, I am thankful that God gave me the chance to meet these people that I can proclaim my real friends:
1.    Tatang Albert
2.    Jeson
3.    Mitnak “Eric”
4.    Arn Arn Bravo
5.    Ang Huling Bantay “Ritch”
6.    Mark Anthony
7.    Alex
8.    Salve
9.    Kimpoy
10.  Nonoy
Shukran Sadik!  Thanks for the friendship!
Nobody wants to have a tragic death, and almost everybody wants to be informed that they will die so they can at least prepare for it, right?
It is inevitable and we might have invested more time planning our death and its effect on our loved ones, the people who depends on us that we will leave behind.
A lot of us has completed our insurance payments, paid our SSS and GSIS premiums, OWWA, Medicare, Memorial Plans and so on and so forth because we don’t want our parents or siblings to suffer and grieve at the same time.
It’s hard if one is not prepared for this thing and the pain would be aggravated by financial woes and other worries that family members might have never expected.
When Voltaire died, Sarah almost died at the same time. I knew how Voltaire loved Sarah, his sister, so much and her children. It’s been a topic of our late night conversations, his dreams for Sarah’s children and for their future.
Tito Eddie died without his children and Tita Beth around him. He enjoyed his last night with Tito Rene and Mommy although the fourth supposed to be mahjong player who did not showed up upset him that night, his siblings’ presence completed his day.
But, what I don’t know is who’s more unprepared. Us living, or the person who rejoined our creator.
People during All Saint’s and All Souls Day could not help but reminisce and regret that things they would’ve done while the departed loved ones were still alive.
Words like I wish I spent more time with him and other remorseful words and alibis would only pacify their guilt.
We tell stories of how good they were when they were still alive but have we appreciated them when they can still hear us?
Sometimes, our busy lives only comes to a complete stop each time somebody gets hospitalized and confined at the ICU, or a family member dies.
I was watching the TFC yesterday when the local news reported that another OFW died of heart attack in Oman.
She brought her grandson here to support him but now the boy is being taken care of somebody else while he is grieving.
OFW’s risk their lives while working away from their families just to earn the money they need to support their families.
I wonder how many children prays for their father’s safety while they are working in the construction site?
I wonder how many wives would consider not to buy and splurge on new vanity items and instead invest the money that her husband remitted while working as a waiter or service crew?
I wonder how many OFW’s will still have to risk their lives while the families they are supporting back home enjoys a lavish lifestyle; kids spending more time at the gaming centers or wives having a ladies night out with friends or office mates while daddy is saving every cent, collecting cans that he can sell for extra bucks; eating less and buying less personal items just to have a bigger remittance for the following month?
What if that daddy dies? Is the family back home ready for that?
I don’t know.
Death is just around the corner, I hope we are all ready for it financially and emotionally.
I hope that family members would not grieve in front of the tomb stone and utter, “I am sorry, if only you were alive….”
… and the regret litany goes on.
All Souls Day, and it’s time for a horror movie marathon at Cinema One; good thing MGB is off the air but I love watching Kabayan trying to scare us not with his looks but with the interesting stories they featured on his program.
November 1st would also mean a grand reunion for our clan… before! “Dati kasi si Tatay at Inang lang ang dinadalaw namin sa sementeryo.”
Now, Tito Eddie, Tito Mario, Tito Abet and Tito Carlos were laid to rest in different places that’s why it’s hard to be in one place anymore.
No more day-long nibbling and cracking of watermelon seeds, or collecting candle waxes; no more creepy ghost stories to spook the younger generation of Villaroman’s since most of my cousins who would sit with me atop the tomb of either Tatay or Inang had migrated already.
I miss Inang. I grew up with her while my sister Ana was Tatay’s favorite.
I also took care of her when she was already bed-ridden prior to her death.
Inang cooked our meal, she accompanied me to school, she woke me up for breakfast and basically me and Ate Judith were Inang’s pets!
Tatay is not so fun to be with because he was dead serious about everything. Everyday, he relaxed on his “duyan” while reading Manila Bulletin and when it’s bath time, “hihilurin niya talaga ang lahat ng banil sa katawan mo, gamit ang bato!”
Tito Mario loved so much mom’s eggplant-camote salad. “Ewan kung ano tawag dun pero sidedish ni mommy sa pochero yun.” A health-buff, we never expected that aneurysm took his life.
Tito Carlos was our Santa. He loves kids and he was extremely nice with me and my cousins while Tito Abet and Tito Eddie were considered untouchables by most of us!
Death is inevitable. But sometimes just thinking of how my uncles and grandparents brought us joys when we were kids still brings me that childish feeling.
Living with a large family who loves eating lechon and most likely dies with hypertension, life has been all fun before.
I just pray that they now enjoy singing with the angels and constantly look after us, like they did when they were alive.

“May the souls of the blessed departed rest in peace, and let perpetual light shine upon them.”

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